We packed up the kids and the car to it's maximum capacity and headed a few hours out of our way to see the Tree of Life at Kalaloch Campground in the northern part of Washington State. After being in said car with two teens and two littles, I wasn't entirely sure this was a brilliant idea, but we were in it for the long haul and made a day of it. As I am writing I remember my husband Joe climbing on top of the car to find the sweaters we needed and I took a picture. I will post that on my FB page(https://www.facebook.com/Gretchenfawnphoto/?hc_ref=ARTetT4UihadwmnU5eDZV8ivaujnHSeEBsHh3wSRFX2715O8GlTkc7KxOAyBv2nLQDQ) for you to see. Sometimes getting to the place takes it out of me and my energy is all drained, but I purposed myself to get some pictures of our family and try to enjoy the time we had at this amazing place. My 3 year old jumped in with vigor. Isn't that like a three year old? They may have a hard time, get in trouble, whine and complain, but then be totally fine five minutes later. I truly wish I possessed that skill, because to be honest, I hold onto my anger way to long and have a hard time letting go of it. (Something I am really praying God would help me let go of.)
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| Here is is all sandy and happy as a clam to be at the beach running around! |
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Another thing that has been on my heart is to show up in the pictures! It really takes some effort to let go of how I wished I looked and allow myself to just soak up the moment. My son has a tiny little stick in his mouth and he thinks he is getting away with something. Being my 5th kid, I don't worry too much as I keep an eye on his and watch how he feels it with his mouth. He's tasting the salt and I put too many different stripes on him, but I love remembering this moment. I needed a sweet snuggle and I was happy to hold him tight. The beach wasn't cold, it was pretty warm and we ended up ok with our light jackets.
The rocks on the beach were all flat and round near the cliffs where the tree of life was. It was pretty amazing growing there with all it's soil eroded in a cave underneath it. My husband was right, it was a really unique and worthwhile place to go see. And it was just like it was when we saw it in Sunset Magazine.
My boy has the most wonderful, adoring sisters. The come home and scoop him up to get any snuggles he's willing to give them before he's off to explore and play with toys!
Near the tree of life were some old growth beached trees. They were so massive they looked as though they could be the size of whales. I was really impressed with them since I have this thing for trees, I like the downed ones too. So many textures and grooves to feel and explore.
We had had an upset that I was grappling with. I found that when I was at the beach all my emotions came flooding to the surface and I had to voice them to my family before I could relax and enjoy the time we had together. This was unusually hard and I felt defensive and unsafe. But we persevered and we got through it. Here my kiddo got some love from her Dad that she really needed. This is really what vacations are about. Connecting on a deeper level and with two in school full time now, we really need the time together.
We had spent most of the last 15 years homeschooling and it's been some big changes in having two more boys and also having the girls in school full time. Each meal we have together seems special now, and they become less frequent. The beach is always a safe place for me. I love to look out at the vast expanse and just breathe in the air and watch the waves come in and out. In and out. In and out.
This is me and my 9 month old just relaxing in the sand. He loves the texture of it and I guess you can tell we are photographers, because this boy has got his model-charmer-smile down to a 't'. Being his Mommy has changed me. All the times I have a baby changes me, but he imparticular makes me see the bigger picture more clearly that time is fleeting and being his Mommy matters. I want to erase my anger forever and be so gentle and kind. So tender and loving. Show him all the good things in the World. And most days, I can and I do. Some days I fail and flop down exhausted at night and know that I could have done better. I want to do better and I'm glad that I have another day to try it again every time.....
Here is the giant log we are walking on top of. It reminded me of a huge whale.
Little boys with tons of energy and joy!
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