After going back to babyhood after a ten year break (my kids being 18, 14 and 10 when little guy joined us), I will never be the same! My heart is so tender at times and so instantly angry at other times. My naturopath tells me this is due to hormones and their paths and aging! Oh yes, 40 knocked at my door and what could I do, but welcome it in. Life truly is a journey and as I have wished for as long as I can remember, I long to enjoy all the moments I can despite exhaustion and weariness as my passengers. Going back to teaching my little boy everything really delights my heart! I love to have him repeat my words. My daughters also love to delight in his sweetness. It's funny to see my 11 year old antagonize him like the pecking order is so ingrained in children and animals for that matter, that she can't help herself despite her age. I sometimes ask her how old she is and for her to think over what she should be doing compared to a 1 year old and it's like something that was not even on her radar flashes across her screen. She rolls her eyes, "Ok Mom, I get it." I get it to. Things don't have to be perfect and they won't be perfect no matter how perfect I try to get them. And would I, a creative, bold, sometimes insecure extrovert want them to be? I don't think so, I would find it too ordinary and expected. I thrive on change and love to rearrange things. My husband, being a man of routine, would much prefer to keep the furniture the same for always, but he is understanding and has agreed to help me move countless pieces of furniture in and out. Albeit, I have been warned to keep it to the weekends now. He breathed a big sigh of relief when I was gifted leather couches from my Mom. We have been wanting them for at least 15 years and we finally got some couches worth keeping. Thanks Mom!
I was sitting with my husband and my 15 year old daughter the other night at 11pm when we started showing each other cute videos of the baby. It started with a little one I had texted to Joe and since watched 3 or 4 times that day. I love to laugh at his cuteness. I love to see my 15 year old giggle too. Then Joe showed me some when Micah was just a little baby. We sat there for an hour, just watching with the three phones lined up and the 3 of us all excited to see the next one. "12, ok, it's time for bed guys." "Awww, ok. He's just so cute." I went to bed feeling wistful and the bittersweetness of knowing our baby is growing up so fast, that I had forgotten some of those memories and that also looking forward to his growth, and so many more fun things that will be coming in his life and in my older girls' lives as well. SIGH, time, it just keeps going on if you are ready or not, doesn't it?
In light of all those things, I grabbed my camera with the small lens on it (50mm) on the way up to drop off the girls to visit their Gma and Gpa Korf. I usually leave it packed away because it's too cumbersome to drag it out. Having the small lens and a small bag allows me freedom. I was sitting there talking and remembering that feeling of time passing and the small details that we sometimes forget and I was overwhelmed with the desire to capture Gma sitting by Gabi on the couch in the usual way, Gpa in his chair by the window telling a story with his hands and Micah buzzing around the room trying to take all Gmas "pretties" off their spots. This day, Gma put plush Fall owls out and kept her nerves and mine relaxed a little more than usual. Ahhhh, these days. Enjoy those small moments you live day by day. I look at ours with more gratitude every year and I remember the Fridays I spent with my Gma Ruth with utter fondness despite the time it took to drive the hour each way and back. They are some of my most treasured times.
Enjoy! Gretchen
I was sitting with my husband and my 15 year old daughter the other night at 11pm when we started showing each other cute videos of the baby. It started with a little one I had texted to Joe and since watched 3 or 4 times that day. I love to laugh at his cuteness. I love to see my 15 year old giggle too. Then Joe showed me some when Micah was just a little baby. We sat there for an hour, just watching with the three phones lined up and the 3 of us all excited to see the next one. "12, ok, it's time for bed guys." "Awww, ok. He's just so cute." I went to bed feeling wistful and the bittersweetness of knowing our baby is growing up so fast, that I had forgotten some of those memories and that also looking forward to his growth, and so many more fun things that will be coming in his life and in my older girls' lives as well. SIGH, time, it just keeps going on if you are ready or not, doesn't it?
In light of all those things, I grabbed my camera with the small lens on it (50mm) on the way up to drop off the girls to visit their Gma and Gpa Korf. I usually leave it packed away because it's too cumbersome to drag it out. Having the small lens and a small bag allows me freedom. I was sitting there talking and remembering that feeling of time passing and the small details that we sometimes forget and I was overwhelmed with the desire to capture Gma sitting by Gabi on the couch in the usual way, Gpa in his chair by the window telling a story with his hands and Micah buzzing around the room trying to take all Gmas "pretties" off their spots. This day, Gma put plush Fall owls out and kept her nerves and mine relaxed a little more than usual. Ahhhh, these days. Enjoy those small moments you live day by day. I look at ours with more gratitude every year and I remember the Fridays I spent with my Gma Ruth with utter fondness despite the time it took to drive the hour each way and back. They are some of my most treasured times.
Enjoy! Gretchen
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